27 May, 2012

Sifer

کبھی کبھی اپنا آپ سفر لگتا ہے . زیرو، جسکی کوئی جگہ نہیں. بلکل بےکار. لیکن سفر کی ضرورت تو ہر عدد کو ہوتی ہے. کچھ بننے کے لئے سفر جس عدد کے ساتھ لگے اسکی قدرو قیمت کئی گنا بڑھا دیتا ہے. تو اگر تم اپنے آپ کو سفر سمجھتے ہو، تب بھی قیمتی ہو. تب بھی تم بےکار نہیں. تب بھی تم ہر گنتی سے پہلے آؤ گے. ہر گنتی کا آغاز تمہی سے ہو گا. اور ہر ٩ عدد کے بعد ١ دفع تمہاری ضرورت پڑھے گی. اگلے مور پر جانے کے لئے تبدیلی جب بھی آے گی  تم سے آے گی. سفر سے آے گی.  

Durr-e-Shahwar

10 May, 2012

A friend who cares

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey

09 March, 2012

Why we love men

We love men because they can never fake orgasms, even if they wanted to.
Because they write poems, songs, and books in our honor.
Because they never understand us, but they never give up.
Because they can see beauty in women when women have long ceased to see any beauty in themselves.
Because they come from little boys.
Because they can churn out long, intricate, Machiavellian, or incredibly complex mathematics and physics equations, but they can be comparably clueless when it comes to women.
Because they are incredible lovers and never rest until we’re happy.
Because they elevate sports to religion.
Because they’re never afraid of the dark.
Because they don’t care how they look or if they age.
Because they persevere in making and repairing things beyond their abilities, with the naïve self-assurance of the teenage boy who knew everything.
Because they never wear or dream of wearing high heels.
Because they’re always ready for sex.
Because they’re like pomegranates: lots of inedible parts, but the juicy seeds are incredibly tasty and succulent and usually exceed your expectations.
Because they’re afraid to go bald.
Because you always know what they think and they always mean what they say.
Because they love machines, tools, and implements with the same ferocity women love jewelry.
Because
they go to great lengths to hide, unsuccessfully, that they are frail and human.
Because they either speak too much or not at all to that end.
Because they always finish the food on their plate.
Because they are brave in front of insects and mice.
Because a well-spoken four-year old girl can reduce them to silence, and a beautiful 25-year old can reduce them to slobbering idiots.
Because they want to be either omnivorous or ascetic, warriors or lovers, artists or generals, but nothing in-between.
Because for them there’s no such thing as too much adrenaline.
Because
when all is said and done, they can’t live without us, no matter how hard they try.
Because they’re truly as simple as they claim to be.
Because they love extremes and when they go to extremes, we’re there to catch them.
Because
they are tender they when they cry, and how seldom they do it.
Because
what they lack in talk, they tend to make up for in action.
Because they make excellent companions when driving through rough neighborhoods or walking past dark alleys.
Because they really love their moms, and they remind us of our dads.
Because they never care what their horoscope, their mother-in-law, nor the neighbors say.
Because they don’t lie about their age, their weight, or their clothing size.
Because they have an uncanny ability to look deeply into our eyes and connect with our heart, even when we don’t want them to.
Because when we say “I love you” they ask for an explanation.

19 May, 2011

On Enemies and Mistakes...

Making Mistakes

The German philosopher F. Nietzsche once said that it is no use living arguing about everything; it is part of human nature to make a mistake now and again.

Yet we all know people who absolutely insist that they are right even down to the smallest details. We ourselves are often included in this category: we don’t allow ourselves to make mistakes.
All that we achieve with such an attitude is the fear of moving forward – because certain steps call for new decisions whose results are unknown to us.
The fear of making a mistake is the door that locks us up in the castle of mediocrity: if we manage to overcome this fear, we are taking an important step towards our freedom.

Love Your Enemy. But Never Forget...

The warriors of light always keep their hearts clean of feelings of hatred. When they go to fight, they always remember the words: 'Love your enemies'. But they know that the act of forgiving foes does not force them to accept everything.
Warriors cannot lower their heads – otherwise they lose sight of the horizon of their dreams. The warrior understands that the adversaries are there to test our persistence, our ability to make decisions. Adversaries are a blessing – because they force the warriors of light to fight for their dreams.

Love your enemy. But never forget: he is not your friend.

22 April, 2011

Prayer

Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers,
but to be fearless in facing them.

Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain,
but for the heart to conquer it.

Let me not look for allies in life’s battlefield,
but to my own strength.

Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved,
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.

Grant that I may not be a coward,
feeling Your mercy in my success alone;

But let me find the grasp of Your hand in my failure.

~ Rabindranath Tagore

19 April, 2011

Searching for Meaning








When you are encountered by a suffering, it is not the physical pain that comes with the unexpected loss that, but the mental agony caused by the injustice and the unreasonableness of it all. It is then, that one needs to understand the reality of life, which is that life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. Even in the gravest situations, the greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. 

They say that there can be three possible sources for meaning: at work, when you are doing something significant, in love when you care for another person, and in courage during difficult times. 

Suffering in and of itself is meaningless; we give our suffering meaning by the way in which we respond to it. At one point, a person may remain brave, dignified and unselfish, or in the bitter fight for self-preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal. While only a few people are examples of the former, but it is sufficient proof that man’s inner strength may raise him above his outward fate.

The most enduring insight, one that I have called on often in my own life and in countless counseling situations is that forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing: your freedom to choose how you will respond to your suffering. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.

23 October, 2010

That's her!

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'That's Her!'

17 October, 2010

Each Man Kills

And each man kills the thing he loves,
By all let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword.

[Quoting Oscar Wilde in The Valkyries...]