Deciding to Live

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Have you ever had one of those walks, when the sun is piercing through your skin but you can't feel the heat, because the pain in your heart is so much more?

I still remember the day when I decided to walk away from it all. With the air that I breathe left behind me, I decided to live... that moment, that freedom, that one breath - for myself, for once.

Isbah Z

Comments

Syra said…
what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.
May 21, 2008 at 4:56 PM
Isbah Omer said…
The heart has its reasons which reason does not know :)
May 21, 2008 at 8:57 PM
Saira Andleeb said…
i remember the day when i couldnt walk!
when i couldn't feel my feet any more ! i remember it!
when my numb feet failed me, and i fell on my knees, fell hard on my face, but never on my reasons!
and thats the day when i told myself that if im ever unable to walk i will kneel my self out of it !
June 4, 2008 at 12:38 AM
Isbah Omer said…
I know what you mean. You can let yr ego slip away and be ordinary, or you can be yrself, l ive on yr own terms and be extraordinarily YOU! :)
Btw.. this is an intense piece of writing. love it!
June 4, 2008 at 2:09 PM
Saira Andleeb said…
more than ego its about not letting your dignity slip away especially for people who dont appreciate you when you're standing !
June 5, 2008 at 10:18 AM
Monay said…
both of u..isbah and saira ....whateva u ppl have said...i feel like me saying this straight from my heart...this actually is what happens to 90% people but they cant just figure out what the lapse of time shaped on the canvas their life...

Its when u think back..each n every moment and u repent,u repent for being loyal, u repent for being sincere and u repent for being what u never wanted to be...its when along with ur feet u cant get the sensation for ur heartbeat ....u feel like something from ur soul has been ripped apart and u can see it leaving but dont have nything to stop it....ur impulses jam,u feel nobody around u just by closing ur own eyes
Its when u get up and tell ur self that u will have to survive this psychic trauma otherwise no one can stop it from having its long lasting effects on you....
Its only when u stop repenting... u can decide to live.
No doubt,in this just one life of urs, you need to make such decisions many times !
June 5, 2008 at 10:59 AM
Syra said…
I stared into the light
To kill some of my pain
It was all in vain
Cause no senses remain
But an ache in my body
And regret on my mind
But I’ll be fine
Cause I live and I learn
Yes I live and I learn
If you live you will learn
I live and I learn
.
.
.
.
And hell yes I lived
.
.
Oh with the sun in my eyes
Surprise, I’m living a life
But I don’t seem to learn
No I don’t think I can learn
.
.
.
;)
June 5, 2008 at 4:31 PM
Syra said…
OMG! monay & sak!...bravo for the comment! well expressed..and ofcourse kudos to the grey lady for this post.

I don't agree to repenting for being loyal and sincere :) but hell yes, you have to make that decision and break free from the numbness, from the sinking heart,the haunting memories, the ruthless echoing words of betrayal,the broken promises, the shattered trust,the crushed heart, the ugly sensation in the mind, the ripping soul and the kneeling steps and stand up for a just and rewarding tomorrow!
June 8, 2008 at 4:16 PM
Monay said…
adab SYRA ;)

definitely u dont repent for ny good thing u do...but yes u repent for ur good thing being done for the wrong person ....u repent for u loyalty and sincerity if it was for the person who never deserved that....and u happened to know this only when u were numb.....yes then You repent!
June 9, 2008 at 9:42 AM
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